Alte Lagos

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Alte is the short form of Alternative (I hope…  I didn’t find a definition online) so Alternative Lagos or Alte Lagos it is.

It’s Not the regular Lagos behavior and lifestyle which is permanently punctuated with Danfos, traffic, shouting, struggle, and sweat. It’s living the good baby girl/boy life. it’s composed of activities that the very regular average Lagosian isn’t concerned with or is too broke busy to participate in.

Soooooo…. I did a lot of some research on how to live the Alte life (this is what happens when you have unlimited data and too much time) and since I might not be using it anymore.. I have decided to share.. Tell me thank you.

so what are the features of Alte Lagos you ask... Click To Tweet

Grab some popcorn and a Wilson lemonade let me educate you. it involves going to one or more or even all of these things.

  1. Yoga: it’s really cool to do yoga nowadays. Breath Yoga has a really cool space and even organizes yoga retreats. Taking a bunch of Nigerians to the forest to find their inner zens… in spite of mosquitoes and evil spirits. If that’s not Alte please tell me what is.
  2. Tours of exotic Nigeria: my babe social prefect and her tourist Colleagues have blown a wind of change in Nigeria, encouraging people to love and tour their respective homelands. Well, because most of us can’t afford to go to the Obodo oyinbo (White mans land/Europe) again, the bandwagon has been hopped on. It’s now cool to go on one of these organized tours to select locations in Nigeria and West Africa. Trust me it wasn’t cool some years ago.
  3. Jameson Connect events: Jameson is a brand of Liquor and their marketing tactic is to take the cool kids of Lagos to a strange location (having a party in the middle of Costain roundabout is quite strange pls..  what if a trailer.. nvm), have a party and take pictures. Pretty creative, very Alte..
  4. Eat drink Lagos events They organize really cool albeit crowded events..
  5. Visiting Felas Shrine: Extra points if you get contact high there.
  6. Brunch at Cafes with fancy names like samanthas bistro. Cos the place is fine sounds brunchy and I have read so many reviews, I feel like I’ve been there. Cafe Neo is also not bad… Just go the ones on the Island.
  7. Dinner at Nok, rsvp or those crazy expensive restaurants the people at eat-drink-lagos review everytime
  8. afropolitan vibes: Now this is was my thing!!!! until they increased the ticket prices and moved to Muri Okunlola park. I hate the parking at this new location.
  9. Bogobiri on Thursday: as you might have guessed I love Live shows and live music and Bogobiri is as live as it gets (they even accommodate those that sound like toads so you are welcome!!! ) but I can never get over how crowded it is every Thursday. I’m not about that life of breathing a strangers Co2 so deuces. The girl that hosts it can singgg tho!!! (I don’t remember her name) everybody else is just trying.
  10. Salsa at bottles or the other numerous places they dance every week… A friend e-introduced me to MrBuddySalsa and I can’t thank him enough. I’ve never been to any of his classes (cos I only want to sleep after work) but the fact that the option of learning salsa and meringue is waiting for me in Lagos is just good to know.
  11. that boat cruise that has plenty light. around the body of the boat.. don’t believe me? that’s your business cos I don’t have a picture.. I booked once and a little bird told me that their food is crap and I canceled .who knows them and can confirm this? I don’t joke with food.
  12. then the popular speedboat cruise from VI to Ilashe or to whatever hidden island that the Alte crew goes to (looks like a fun activity to do with plenty of friends)
  13. Spa visits to oriki or nails at the Nail Bar: Cos Oriki is a beautiful spa. its Alte cos I said so. They have Island prices sha. Not over the top but Island prices still.

  14. owning a MacBook: cos the Alte guys are all creatives or creatives on the side.
  15. Jogging on the lekki ikoyi bridge (still alte, a little bit mainstream cos lekki babes  still use it to find husbands
  16. going to the gym or fitness boot camps Cos everybody is trying to be fit,healthy and slim. including people that look like toothpicks.
  17. Kayaking: this activity looks hella stressful to me. how is this a recreational activity for chrissake.
  18. Weddings with crazy after parties. I always promise to turn up but men.. I get tired from wearing heels and the centimeters of makeup you are required to wear to a Lagos wedding
  19. Gidifeast in December: collect your Alte pass here
  20. Live shows at TerraCulture: I loveeeee live shows and if I could dance to save my life i would actually act in one. allas I am fearfully and wonderfully made not to dance so I am just content with watching. I would go every weekend if I had all the time and cash in the world and if the ticket guys were nicer.
  21. Going to stranger Lagos. it is supposed to be a concept space but I still have no idea what people do there other than taking pictures. I don’t gerrit.
  22. Art galleries: Omenka, Nike and the likes. Lucky you If you go on a day when they have a show or event. My take: the less publicity there is for an event at the art gallery, the better
  23. Lekki Art and Craft: the road there is disgracefullllll… do not go when it rains. do not go when the sun is out. Don’t go if you cannot enter Okada. Don’t go there. There is no road drainage and the road is terrible!!! Their “Arts and Craft” are Oyinbo tourist prices too. Mscheeeeew.
  24. Fibre: this is the real estate agent for the rich Alte kids or the IJGBs who can’t go through the stress of looking for an apartment in Lagos. (Well, no human being deserves to go through the stress of looking for an apartment in Lagos. I was taken to an uncompleted building more than once. Why do you think I still stay with my parents?) Accommodation in Lagos is expensive and painful and Fibre is a good solution to that…. If only most of us can afford it. 🙁
  25. Vlogging: everybody and their mama Vlogs now. I think its good cos we don’t have so many people show us about life in Lagos. But you know Nigerians na… when something is good, we tend to overdo it.  I have a post in my draft about my fav Vloggers in Nigeria. sisiyemmie
  26. Birthday Photos: No photo shoot is complete without the balloons that tell the whole world your age
  27. CoWorking spaces: Workstation, Capital Square the list grows. Workstation is the new place to stunt on insta.. just saying.

  28. Tech and Business conferences and social media week: check Eventbrite and Nigerian twitter for further details.
  29. CafeNeo: The closest thing to a starbucks in Nigeria.. why pay to use a coworking space when you can buy a cup of coffee and realfruit mangoes here to enjoy free wifi and cool music to work here for the whole day. I love Café Neo and their brethren but I still don’t get why people need coffee to work in Lagos. The noise is enough to keep you awake.
  30. Silent Disco Parties: cool Alte activity. go with your friends as I don’t see how you can make new friends here.
  31. PTN: Paint the Night!!!!! paint your own … painting? … I think its fun.. cos I get to laugh at people.
  32. Lekki Leisure Lake and Lekki Conservation Center: Lekki leisure lake is boring and the canopy walk in LCC is just difficult. Argue with the monkeys.
  33. Organic food stores.. Ebano used to be it. but they have competition. Do your research. Mostly on the Island.
  34. Asoebi Bella: Cos you have not arrived if you’ve not been featured on Bella Naija
  35. Natural Hair: Need I say more? Looks beautiful but we cant deny that alot of people want afro hair because its kinda trendy.
  36. acting in Ndani TV or any of these web series: am I the only one that has noticed? Me too I want to act! Pick me Pick me!!
  37. Museums: If you are feeling Alte, The national Museum Onikan is not for you, you’ll leave there depressed.
  38. the Railway Station at ebutte Metta : How is this dusty, sandy place now the IT place for all the cool events in Lagos
  39. Slay Festival in Ebute metta
  40. Same Dressing: Ankara pants or ripped jeans: Because that’s the dress code
  41. ALTE MUSIC: listening to Alte Music from Alte musicians like Falana, Folarin, bez, BOJ and Bemyoda:
  42. Picnickers anonymous: Now this is an amazing activity. You take your mat and go and have a nice picnic and watch an old movie in another persons compound. I lurveee it. Follow them on Instagram
  43. SaoCafe: Blew up when DJ Obi almost killed himself attempted and won his world record. I also met Lynxx there and that guy is a FYYYYYYnnnneee child of God.  *does the sign of the cross*
  44. Events like Socialliga. : check twitter

activities that used to be Alte but lagos peasants (gbogbo ero) have spoilt for the rest of us)

  • Sunday buffets in Eko hotel and Federal Palace Hotel. This used to be a thing and it still is but a lot of hotels started doing it and the whole of Lagos caught on. the beginning of the month comes and the hotels are fulllll!!
  • Eat Drink Festival: it’s still major alte ehn…. but because they make it free, the events are crowded as hell. The last one looked like they were sharing heavenly glory there.
  • Industry Night: it’s no longer so popular, I don’t know if they even do it again.
  • comedy shows and concerts at eko hotel: no longer Alte when Olamide came with all his area boys from the mainland on top they want to do OLIC. I don’t know why he doesn’t just use Ikorodu stadium sef. I went once and every brother musilu from mushin was there. the Alte crowd didn’t like that at all. we were pissed.. but we still love Olamide.
  • Felas Shrine: cos it’s on the mainland and that’s too far for Alte Kids. Watch out for contact High. don’t say I didn’t warn you.
  • GoKarting: went down the drain when they started selling on dealdey!! My wig also fell off while i was in a GoKart so they are cancelled in my dictionary… Never Again!! LOL.

Lol. Let me stop here. As you can tell I like a lot of these activities and I am looking forward to participating in some before this year. BTW, would you like me to write a review when I do? Let me know…..

so I have given you a list of Alte Lagos things… a combination of events, places, people, activities …..  so things. For more check out NTDIL

these things used to be exclusive to IJGBs but are now open to all…

so enjoy.. feel among and tell me Thank You.

If you think I missed out on some, do the needful in the comment section abeg.

Welcome to the Alte Lagos club.

Hi, Im Yevandy.


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  2. Oyinkansola Reply

    lmaoooo i came across your blog and honestly this was so hilarious to read

  3. I had no idea about the song until your comment.
    I just checked it out on Youtube.
    Lol.. I’ll gladly go on the cruise

  4. Pingback: 2017 review and goals for 2018 | Yevandy

  5. Pingback: Looking for stuff to do in Lagos? You've come to the right place. - Yevandy

  6. Interesting Read. I’ve gotta participate in some of these before year’s end. Thanks.

  7. 9jaRealist Reply

    Stumbled upon this two years late but it still cracked me up…

  8. Pingback: Volunteering in Nigeria - Yevandy

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